How to Keep the Spark Alive After the Honeymoon Phase

Long-term attraction, keeping passion alive.

Nov 13, 2024

How to Keep the Spark Alive After the Honeymoon Phase

Hey friends, I told you this topic was very near and dear to my heart. Because when I married my wife, this was THE biggest thing on my mind.

On the honeymoon (we took a 12-day road trip to the Grand Canyon and Vegas), my mind was filled with the question of how this all would work when this pure bliss feeling left. More on that later.

The honeymoon phase can feel like pure magic. But as the relationship matures, it’s natural for that initial spark to evolve.

While yes, the immediate WOW factor will fade away, the passion doesn’t have to.

Here are five simple yet powerful ways to keep the connection strong and rekindle that spark long after the honeymoon phase.

1. Prioritize Date Nights (Even If You’re Busy)

Once routines set in, and they will set in, intentional quality time can start to slip away. To keep the spark alive, prioritize regular date nights as a non-negotiable part of your schedule. Whether it’s a night out or a cozy evening at home:

Try something new every few weeks, like a cooking class, which my wife and I did, and I learned how to make some excellent Thai food. My wife is part Asian, so having that in my tool kit was a must! A dance lesson, which is on our personal list to do but haven’t done yet, or a DIY wine tasting. Novel experiences release dopamine, the same feel-good chemical that made those early days so thrilling.

Alternate planning date nights. When each of you gets a turn to surprise the other, it keeps things exciting and brings variety into the relationship. We do this thing where we set a budget for the night. $20, $50, $100, $250 etc. And you have to try and fit the best date possible in that budget, which makes for an exciting and hilarious date!

Pro tip: Date nights don’t always have to be elaborate; even a simple walk or coffee outing can create the setting for quality connection time.

2. Focus on Your Own Personal Growth

A great relationship is made up of two fulfilled individuals. Focusing on your passions, hobbies, and growth brings new energy back into the relationship.

Make time for personal interests, even if they’re separate from your partner. When you feel fulfilled on your own, you’re more likely to feel excited and inspired in your relationship.

Share what you’re learning with your partner—whether it’s a book, skill, or experience. Being around someone who’s passionate about their own life is naturally attractive and keeps things interesting.

Pro tip: Take a moment now and then to acknowledge and appreciate each other’s individual journeys. Admiring your partner’s growth helps you both feel seen and supported.

Thanks for reading Decode Your Man! This post is public so feel free to share it.

3. Show Appreciation in Small, Unexpected Ways

Small gestures of appreciation can go a long way in keeping romance alive. A quick note, a favorite treat, or even a simple “I appreciate you” can make a big difference. I have written so many notes to my wife about how proud I am of her I leave them on her pillow. She will find my car out around town and leave little notes about how proud of me she is. It’s VERY healthy.

Surprise your partner with something small but thoughtful. Whether it’s their favorite snack or a little compliment, these gestures show you’re still invested.

Look for ways to recognize the small things they do. Whether it’s washing the dishes or taking out the trash, acknowledgment can make them feel valued and appreciated.

Pro tip: Physical gestures, like a random hug or squeeze on the shoulder, communicate affection without words. It’s a quick, effective way to keep the connection warm and loving.

4. Keep the Physical Connection Strong

Personal story here: my wife came to me recently and said, “Hey, when you get back from the gym, you’re sort of walking around the house like a complete bum, and I don’t like it.” I didn’t get angry or upset, and this was someone who doesn’t have the best communication skills (sorry wife) actually communicating with me and telling me a source of frustration for her. So I listened and changed up my whole relax around the house wardrobe to fantastic feedback, fellas, LISTEN TO YOUR LADIES. Physical intimacy is a powerful way to maintain emotional closeness. After the honeymoon phase, it’s easy for physical affection to fall into a routine, but it doesn’t have to.

Experiment with ways to bring playfulness into your physical connection. Sometimes, something as simple as holding hands more often or sneaking a kiss when they’re least expecting it can reignite the spark.

Feel free to mix things up. Trying new things together, like a couples massage or relaxing in a new environment, can keep things fresh.

Pro tip: Communication is key—talk openly about what feels good for both of you, and embrace the playfulness that comes from shared exploration.

5. Reminisce About the Good Times

Reflecting on how far you’ve come together can reignite those early feelings. Sharing memories reminds you both of the bond you built and strengthens your connection. Joking about the old days or looking at old pictures is an absolute plus and bound to stir up old feelings. I was just looking at old wedding pictures the other day and sending them to friends who were there and kids who are much older now; good time for everybody.

Look back on fun memories, like your first trip or a funny moment you shared. Reliving these times can bring back the positive emotions that were there from the beginning.

Reading old text messages or group messages to each other can lead to some hilarious moments!

Pro tip: Plan an “anniversary” celebration of a random but special day in your relationship—like your first date or the day you met. Making new memories inspired by the old ones creates a unique and lasting bond.

To Summarize:

The key to keeping the spark alive is to keep things intentional and fresh.

Even as the relationship deepens, your connection can stay exciting, passionate, and full of energy. So remember—prioritize time together, nurture your own growth, and keep finding ways to show love in small ways.

Here’s to keeping that spark alive well beyond the honeymoon phase.

What’s Next:

Look out for our next newsletter on LEAVE THAT MAN Friday, where we will tackle,

10 Signs It’s Time to Walk Away from a Relationship